Kisses and Sweet Talk

I found another yahoo chat today. The one where you told me you kissed me and talked to me in my sleep.  

This is what we had. This is what I am missing.  You spoiled me with your love and attention and that my man was ongoing and it was the glue in our relationship.  I would have done absolutely anything for you.  

I didn't have your quiet nature but you weren't looking for that. You told me early on you didn't want a partner who was shy. I was anything but. So the introvert finds the extrovert and they lived together happily.  

I was the rough to your smooth.  The boisterous to your retiring nature and you seemed to enjoy the contrast. You were the quarterback and the goal kicker and I was the linebacker and the blocker. We made it work for us.

I miss your hugs, I miss your soft touches and your heart.  I miss holding your hand every night as we went to sleep. We had such beauty here. No one would guess at what we had. 

 I was never really insane, except on occasions where my heart was touched... Edgar Allen Poe

Yep. I was pretty much insane from that moment we came together.  That never changed. 

I realize, especially from past relationships that included the marriage that proceeded our own that things tend to calm down and lose their sparkle as time marches on. That did not happen for me with you. 

My heart still went pitty-pat with you - not every day, but it certainly did in those moments we shared dancing to our song,  me hugging you from behind while you made Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner and you dragging me about the kitchen behind you patting my hands that were clasped around your middle. Sometimes I felt it while  watching you repair something in the garage or even just watching you sitting and reading. 

Forever crazy about you. 

  Starting Over

I started this blog to post things about Las Vegas. Ironic that it is called My Vegas Crush - because my actual crush in life shared this place in the world with me, until he didn't. He died Sept 2020. My world collapsed.

This space is now going to be occupied by the writings and ramblings having to do with the life I have left after losing Chance.  He was the center, and now that he is gone there is this hole. No carpet will cover it, no nice words, no sprinkling of fresh grass seed.... it is a hole that will remain. 

When you find someone - anyone - who gets you, someone you don't have to explain yourself to all the time - someone who asks the hard questions - consider yourself blessed. Whomever they are they hold a place in your life that does nothing but add to your life. If subtraction happens it is your choice... until it isn't.